I HATE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!

the end,

Gosh this week has been rough. I wish the weekend could last forever.

I am going to stay as far away from people as I can.

This week was SO stressful at work. It felt like every day was 17 years. No joke.

& It does not help that for the past two or three days I have been unexplainably emotional.

Today I was out with the three to five year olds at recess. I finally started to cry....and of course the kids then decide they all want a drink of water...So it went kind of like this.

Kid: Miss Noelle, I'm thiiiirsty!

Me: Hold on. (Through a sob..)

It's really not the kids that make me so stressed out. It's the inconsistancy. Sometimes I feel like a bouncy ball. It's making me crazy. Ask Shannah...

 I love all of the kids. There's a special few that I have really bonded with. So much that when I clock out I stay anyway just to spend time with them.

Working with kids is a possible career choice I think....I don't know what age group, Maybe some kids who don't wet themselves. :)

Updates/News/Whatever.

1.) I quit at the IMAX. =( It really did break my heart to do that....even if that sounds lame, it's true. But it was best for my sanity. Saturday was my last night. It wasn't really that fun of a last night. I was with Jamie Rogers who I can't stand. (I can say that now that I'm never going to see her again...) All she does is gossip and talk about how she's a lesbian. It's always very awkward working with her. (Well, not anymore.)

The last hour she tried to pawn off all the work she didn't want to do on me....what else is new?

Her: Noelle, go change that trash can.

Me: I've changed like 89 trashcans tonight...can you or Katie do it?

Her: No. (Insert some stupid excuse)

Me: It is my last night...my last hour of work....I have not been lazy in my five months of working here. Tonight I am choosing to be lazy. I do not want to change that trash can.

Her: Well, it's your last hour...don't be a slacker. (Or something like that.)

Me: Yeah I'm gonna go talk to Steve real quick.

I walked over to Steve and Michelle and Darren...they were talking or something.

Steve: It's your last night.

Me: I have 50 minutes...well, actually 49 minutes.

Steve: Go shave the carpets....and the ceiling tiles.

Me: Ha ha. Youre funny.

(Insert inappropriate comments from Darren and Michelle....just like normal)

Steve: But you can leave if you want.

Me: YES!

Steve: Jamie, Katie, do you need her for anything else?

Them: No

Me: *inside* Hahahaha what now, jerks???

I got away without changing that garbage. So I was a mindless slacker for 99% of the time I worked at that place. That's alot better than the other 30 something employees there.

And I went home....feeling really somber. I had a lot of good memories there.

Such as:

1.) My first night, Christmas Day, when I was an usher and I walked so much that it took me 30 minutes to get to my car from the back of the building. (I was ignorant, and didn't know that snowboots were not going to cut it...)

2.) The first time I worked concessions and my drawer was 15 dollars off...

3.) Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I HATED THOSE ENDING CREDITS! SERIOUSLY! They were sooooo. evil sounding. Whenever I had to clean that theater I would end up praying inside or singing worship songs.

4.) When Paul Blart came out and never went away....

5.) Snowstorms.

6.) Inappropriate walkie talkie behavior.

7.) Marie Digby.

8.) Work friends: Yercely, Brittnay, Jakob Ribar, Joe, Jacob Vincent, Jackie, Erik, Belinda, Shannon, Alex, Most of the managers, And other people who's names I still dont know. Hahaha.

9.) Making mistakes. Josh making me cry because I made mistakes.

10.) Closing fun.

11.) Closing usher for the first time & the last time. Horrible!

12.) Kevin Engel being my co worker... :)

And quitting.

There was good and there was bad. But it was a great first job. I wouldn't trade that expirience for anything. I learned alot. I learned to love people who are hard to love. I want so bad for them to God.

2.) I want to get married. Like now. Kind of. Ok not married....but be in a relationship.

Dear Grandpa,

Hi, it's me, Noelle. You can't read this right now because you're in a hospital in Chicago. And apparently you aren't doing so well. I'm not doing very well either. I feel horrible that I didn't visit you as much as I should have. I want to be able to say good-bye to you but if I can't, well, this will be my good-bye.

My earliest memories of you are in your old house & your apartment with your parakeets. "Get Mona!" You'd always say to him. I would watch in amuzement as the bird pecked at "Mona". I loved visiting you every weekend. It was such a special moment. Now it's even more special thinking back.  I remember playing uno, with my family, you, and Aunt Theresa & Uncle Kevin. And the doll I got from you one Christmas. I have torn up my house looking for that doll...I want to hold it and smell the powdery fresh smell, so that maybe these memories will become more vivid. But I can't find it...I can't find any of the old things you've given me! I can't even find a picture of you to hold close to my heart.

Anyway, the years went by and you met Sylvia. She changed alot of things about you, including that old apartment. But I know you loved her. And I'm happy you got to spend those five years with her.

Junior year I had an assignment to interview an old war veteran. I chose you. We talked on the phone over it...I was in my bathroom. I was so grateful my teacher assigned that for us because I got to know you so much better. I'll never forget some of those stories. Now I appreciate that more than I did at the time.

There are little things that make you so special. The way you say "Oh boy!" Your laugh. Your caring heart. Your faith, especially.

I can't really say much else, but I love you. And I hope I can see you again and read you this letter.

Love,

Noelle

I had a really strange dream last night. I don't remember alot of the details. I just remember kissing some guy, like making out with him...I think.  (Which I am totally not going to do until I am at least engaged!) And I knew it wasn't good. I didn't know who he was but he wasn't a christian. It felt good. And when I woke up I was mad because I didn't want the dream to end.

I think interpretation to this has has a few obvious meanings. (You gotta love the subconcious...)

I really like this guy at work...and I know it can never happen because he isn't in my moral leage. But still, I look forward to seeing him...think about him alot...etc. It's not good. I don't want to get myself in trouble, but at the same time, it's SO exciting to like someone....I havent liked someone in sooo long. I mean REALLY like someone.

And another thing- I really want to be in a relationship-finally! Im Noelle, no relationship, no conflict girl. I always talk about how I never want to get married. But I do. Or at least right now, I want to just go on a date. Feel awkward. Hold hands. Be cute!

But yeah that was a weeeird dream and I feel bad for having it even though I didn't even do anything.

And oh by the way, working at the daycare makes me completely excited to be a mom one day. I love the kids. All of them. Even the ones that constantly try my patience. That was random...ok. Im done